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#16199
Avatartro5019
Participant

One of the core assertions in your writing is that intensely social community was the single most important factor in the success of our species. While I agree that the need for community is ancient and essential to a person’s wellbeing, I find it impossible to fully dispel the cultural programming of living my whole life in capitalist America – ‘every man for himself’, ‘nice guys finish last’, self-reliance and rugged individualism, etc. My question is how have you reconciled the idea that what we are most out of sync with from our evolutionary past is our interdependence on each other, with the importance of self-reliance and your life as an individual? I’m a 28-year-old man, and have been living in a similar way you describe your 20s and 30s – traveling, spending time alone immersed in books, tripping by myself, etc. I cannot honestly say my independence has been a bad thing for me, yet I find my thoughts tending to extreme statements like “I don’t need anybody. Needing people is weak.” I know that’s unhealthy for me and my relationships. I don’t even believe it intellectually or emotionally. I have solid relationships with friends and family, but these thoughts persist. Did you ever find yourself feeling like that? How can somebody change this?