Home Forums Podcast supporters Video ROMA questions (ARCHIVED) Reply To: Video ROMA questions (ARCHIVED)

Christopher Ryan

Damn, Tom, I just recorded this month’s Video ROMA and missed your question somehow. Sorry about that. Here’s what comes to mind when I read your question. 40% is too low, and 60% is too high. The fact that you love her is, strangely, irrelevant. I know it feels HUGELY relevant, but that’s the nature of love. It expands til it takes up all the space we give it. You’ll love any woman you spend enough time with. Love isn’t the scarce resource, compatibility is what’s scarce. You’ll love them all, but only be compatible with a few. You probably went back with her because you missed being with someone you loved. Understandable. But she’s no more compatible this time than she was last time. Not her fault. And not yours. I think every relationship breaks down to three components: love, passion (attraction), and compatibility. Of the three, compatibility is the most rare and most important. Base your decisions on that, and you’ll be happier in the long term.