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#29307
Obra
Participant

Interesting question — I guess find myself in a similar situation, dated this girl who was madly infatuated with me, then something happened (long distance relationship, other guy swoops in, I didn’t demonstrate enough affection, and so on) and now that I’m back in town we sort of stayed friends because I don’t want to just completely bar her from my life. It’s weird though, the attraction is still there, arguably from both ends, but it seems like the idea of being romantically engaged with me doesn’t touch her at all while from my angle, well, I’d be OK with being “friends” but letting other doors open ever so slightly. It’s odd, in my experience, when a woman I was passionately engaged with says no, that stays a no. It’s like they switch off and that’s it. But when it comes to my decisions on the subject… yeah, I don’t like to close doors hermetically unless someone really backstabbed me or something.

…this brings me back to what Chris said in a Toma long ago — best way to get someone to come back to you, eventually, is to not extensively fight for it — you don’t love me, ok, go ahead do your thing, I’ll love you anyway and maybe, someday, somehow, you’ll look back and miss whatever I brought to the table… and then you’ll come back. I’m paraphrasing, but yea I think that was his point.

Anyway, let’s see what Uncle Chris thinks about this. Have a good day tro5019